Raw

I’ve never really been good with words. I envy those who are. When I read something that another person has written that perfectly describes what I’m thinking or feeling, I imagine they are tapped into some secret, exclusive club. It’s a beautiful thing to be able to express yourself so effortlessly.

My words tend to come out jumbled. There seems to be some weird filter my thoughts go through when they are produced. But instead of a sifter, it’s more like a blender. Things just get mixed up and confused.

Ive been trying to find a way to get the mess in my head about what’s been happening lately out. I’ve made jokes about it all, I’ve cried, screamed, sat in complete silence with a myriad of thoughts and emotions swirling around me.

Ive said the wrong things, expressed myself poorly. And I haven’t been completely honest about how I feel.

Im scared. I’m devastated. I’m broken. And I feel very alone.

Its difficult to need anyone. The fear of rejection and disappointment in your darkest hour of need is paralyzingly. Being completely vulnerable, entrusting that part of your heart and soul to anyone is probably the hardest thing anyone can do.

If someone comes to you, especially if it’s someone you love, and they trust you enough to show you this part of them, please, no matter how difficult it is for you, be there. Be there completely. Know that they, in their most vulnerable state, are trusting you with themselves. They are looking to you for the comfort they need because they see you as the one special person in the world they can be raw, real, unguarded with.

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